


I built a home/ for you/ for me

by phan_on_the_nx_01



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 1885 criminal law amendment act, I don't know how to tag this, London, M/M, Murder, Period-Typical Homophobia, Rich!Phil, Sad Ending, Secret Relationship, The Season, Victorian, Wakes & Funerals, important role in the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2018-12-19 19:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11904315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phan_on_the_nx_01/pseuds/phan_on_the_nx_01
Summary: On one summer's day, the Howells bore a son. He was two years younger than the second son of the Lester’s, a one Philip Michael, and was to be trained to be the boy’s valet. He was named Daniel James Howell. A week later, the Durhams had a screaming baby daughter. Mrs Durham was nasty, scheming woman who knew of the Lester estates great fortune and set about securing an engagement to the youngest Lester for her daughter. The Lester’s resisted Mrs Durham advancements, intent that Philip would choose his partner for love.Even if that love was between Philip and his servant, Daniel.But this story begins when Daniel began his first day as Philip’s valet





	1. Green Carnations

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to another chaptered fic!  
> this is a work in progress so updates maybe be slow.  
> also yes this is slightly historically inaccurate i know.

_ On one summer's day, the Howells bore a son. He was two years younger than the second son of the Lester’s, a one Philip Michael, and was to be trained to be the boy’s valet. He was named Daniel James Howell. A week later, the Durhams had a screaming baby daughter. Mrs Durham was nasty, scheming woman who knew of the Lester estates great fortune and set about securing an engagement to the youngest Lester for her daughter. The Lester’s resisted Mrs Durham advancements, intent that Philip would choose his partner for love. _

_ Even if that love was between Philip and his servant, Daniel. _

_ But this story begins when Daniel began his first day as Philip’s valet _

***

Dan had lived on the Lester estate his entire life. His mother was the head cook and his father was the personal valet to Mr Lester himself. He was to be Philip’s valet, or Phil as he liked to be known. They had grown up together, haunting the same halls as children and played together. He knew Phil well, perhaps too well. He was to be his confidant and when Phil married, so would his wife. The thought made Dan’s stomach twist in an uncomfortable manner which he pushed aside, like he did when his emotions towards Phil came into play. He was a servant, nothing more, nothing less. 

Mornings began early as always. Martyn Lester’s valet, the ever punctual Mr Sanders (he had been hired recently and was American, which excited many of the servants to an impossible degree). They met in the hallway leading to the Lester’s rooms. Dan arrived at Phil’s at 8:00am and saw the man who he had been trained to serve since his birth. He was, in short, beautiful. 

Dan noticed the sharp angles of the man’s face, his black hair fanned out on his pillow and his body curled up around the thick winter duvet. He sighed and walked over to open the curtains, filtering the room with the soft morning light. Phil groaned from his bed and burrowed further into the covers.

“Sir, you have an appointment with Miss Durham today. You must be ready” Dan spoke softly as he started to prepare the room to dress Phil.  

“Miss Durham has been persistent” Phil replied as he rose from his bed with considerable effort “I think she expects me to court her”

“Court her, sir?”

“Since my mother refused to agree an engagement between myself and Emily, Mrs Durham has bought her up to believe she is to marry into the Lesters” Phil clarified with some flippancy. Several minutes passed as he dressed Phil; silently and with the utmost efficiency. 

“But do you wish to court her, sir?” Dan asked as he put on Phil’s suit jacket.

“Emily Durham is perfectly lovely woman but she will not be my wife”. Phil adjusted the jacket with a glint of something in his eyes that Dan couldn’t place. Phil’s eyes roamed the room and settled on Dan “anything can happen, Mr Howell, but you can take your leave now”

“Thank you, sir”. As Dan began to leave, he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

“Come riding with me later”

“I- I have other duties sir” Dan stuttered.

“Come with me, Dan”. 

Dan turned and reached for the door again. He left without answering; leaving Phil to angrily huff to himself and proceed to the breakfast room.

***

Phil knew his affections did not run in ‘normal’ channels when he’d seen Daniel Howell, his now valet, climb the tallest tree in the Lester estate. The boy was all soft curves and when he cried down that Phil should join him; the dimpled smile he received made his knees weak. Dan laughed freely when he saw Phil climb up the tree with an extreme lack of coordination. It was a good memory.

It was always not to be however. He was supposed to marry a woman of his standing, like his brother had done before him. Martyn had met Cornelia at a local ball and was instantly smitten with her. Phil had yet to do so. He had always imagined dancing with Dan at one of those balls and creating a scandal. It was delicious to think about with his hand on Dan’s waist, their bodies pressed together. However, the Durhams had been vying for a marriage between him and Emily since her birth. She was to be a Debutante at the London Season soon and Mrs Durham expected the Lester’s to agree by then that they would be engaged. While Emily was perfectly lovely to any normal part of society, she was not the spark that he so desired. But he was to go riding with Dan later, if he could get him to agree. He mused this over breakfast as well as planning what he might do for the Season.  _ Probably avoid every woman vying for the Lester fortune  _ Phil thought frowning to himself.

“Sir” a voice near his head said.

“Yes Mr Green?” Phil sighed.

“A Miss Durham is at the door”. Phil groaned to himself. It was too early for this.

“Tell her I’ll meet her in the drawing room presently, thank you” Phil asked

“Very good, sir” 

***

The walk to the drawing room was not enjoyable. He knew what was happen, just like every time Miss Durham came to visit.

“Emily. It is lovely to see you” he greeted 

“Philip” in an instant Emily blushed which made Phil stifle a groan.

“What do I owe this visit?”

“The London Season is almost imminent and I’m to presented at court, Mother believes-”

“Your mother believes that I will become your fiance and announce it just after you are presented at court. I presume you have been accepted to attend?”

“We got the acceptance letter this morning” Emily clarified looking down at her hands.

“My family and I have the same response every time you persist with this notion. I will not marry you”. He saw Emily’s face fall a fraction “I am sorry”

“It is fine Philip”

“You will find a suitable husband when you are presented I am sure” Phil reassured “For your family’s sanity and mine”

***

Dan grabbed a quick lunch with some of the other servants as he mulled over the what had happened in the morning. Him and Phil had always been close, from being children all the way into adulthood. He knew of Emily Durham all too well and his stomach clenched at the thought of Phil finally accepting the Durhams proposal. He hated the thought of Phil having such vile in-laws. He could hear a bell ring on the board, noting it was for Phil’s room. Dan got up as quick he could, taking a last sip of tea before he left to go Upstairs. He greeted Carrie as he passed her on the stairs and made his way to Phil’s quarters. He steeled himself as he pushed open the door.

“Ah you’re here! Come on, I got you the rest of the day off”. Dan gaped at Phil in his full riding gear holding a bouquet of green carnations in his hands towards Dan. He knew what the carnations meant. Affection for another man. A symbol of Wilde himself “Emily left early and these-” Phil stopped for a moment, as if thinking over his words carefully “these have always been for you”

“Phil” Dan said “this is dangerous”

“My parents said I should marry for love and you are the person that I hope to love for many years to come” Phil said “Give me a season and then I will tell my parents about us”.

“One season?” Dan clarified “Phil, I have loved you for much longer” 


	2. 5 years later: The Season Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay!

_ 5 years later _

Emily Durham arrived at the height of the Season. They were at the dawn of the new era and she couldn’t be more excited for what the Season was to hold. She was yet to married much to her mother’s annoyance. Philip Lester had all of disappeared from society apparently travelling to Italy. She had been infatuated with him when she was younger, perhaps she still was. As she sat down on her friend’s sofa and listened to the conversation as they drank tea.

“Of course, Philip Lester has arrived for the season with children in tow. He must of found a wife while on his travels”. Emily frowned as she listened. The Lester’s always announced engagements and marriages in The Times, no matter what “He’s living quite close now,perhaps Emily should pay a visit”

“Pardon?” she said “why would a visit him?”

“Hadn’t your family arranged a marriage between you and Philip?” her friend enquired

“It fell through quite quickly”

“Even so, it’s common courtesy to pay a visit to an old childhood friend”

***

Dan Lester was internally satisfied with his life. He had his ‘husband’ albeit not allowed to call him that in public. No one in London knew him so he could socialise with the upper classes as if he belonged. Phil still had to appear at parties like the ‘bachelor’ he apparently was but he always returned to Dan and their children. The Lester’s had known of their relationship when Martyn had barged into Phil’s room early one morning to find them in bed together. He had feared the worst being fired from the house and all but shunned from his family. What he never expected was understanding and protection. They mentored him in the ways of society and soon he was no longer one of the servants. 

Their two children knew that they weren’t allowed to call him ‘father’ in front of other people, normal society, he was simply Mr. Howell. Francis was becoming curious of why he couldn’t call him that, at which Dan feared he would slip up. Violet was too young to understand, only a baby when they took her from the orphanage. His reminiscing was interrupted by a knock at the door. Realising it could be a client for Phil, he put on his old servants jacket to answer the door. What he never expected when he opened the door was Emily Durham. She had grown up since they had last seen each other. 

“Miss Durham” he greeted

“Mr Howell?” Emily seemed shocked at his presence at his own door

“I believe you are here for Mr Lester. He is currently doing business in town. Should I leave a message?” he tried not to sound sarcastic but this woman almost married the man he loved. 

“Yes. Tell him Miss Durham came to visit. If that isn’t too hard for you” she seemed affronted by his mere presence which made Dan smirk. 

“Oh I will Miss Durham. I will  _ personally  _ ensure he knows. Good day, Miss Durham”

“Good day, Mr Howell” she snapped back.

Dan closed the door in a hurry as he saw Emily make her way down the street. He sighed deeply and leaned his head against the door. That was too close. Phil would return home soon. 

***

Emily seethed as she walked down the street. Dan Howell had always been a thorn in her side since the beginning. He had been Phil’s playmate, despite being a servant. She had seen him blush and sigh as they grew older. Howell was no more than a lowly servant in her eyes but in Phil’s he was much more. Perhaps too much.

***

“Emily Durham came to visit” Dan said as he and Phil prepared for bed. They didn’t hire many servants preferring that only the most trusted could come down for the Season. If anything Dan knew more than the valet.

“What did she want?” Phil asked he got into bed, lifting up the other side to let Dan climb in next to him.

“I believe she was looking for you” Dan shrugged.

“When I told her no, I did mean it” Phil slung his arms around Dan and pulled him closer.

“I fear that she’ll find out about Francis and Violet, our own children could be used as pawns against us” Dan mumbled.

“I won’t let that happen” Phil promised “you, Violet and Francis are my family. No matter what”

“I love you”

“I love you too”

***

“What do you mean he’s married?” Mrs Durham snapped

“No, mother I meant he could be engaged in illicit sexual activities with a man. His valet no less!” Emily shot back. They were in the Durham London residence at which Mrs Durham had come up on short notice to attend a charity event.

“His valet? That good for nothing Howell boy?”

“Yes Mother”. Emily sighed as she looked around the drawing room. Mrs Durham was severe woman who had become progressively bitter as long as Emily remained unmarried.

“He always was a strange child” Mrs Durham continued “him and Philip were always too close. The Lester’s were too lax in their upbringing of their children I always thought” 

“This could ruin them” Emily said “Philip would have no choice but to marry a woman to save his family name”

“It would be a scandal” Mrs Durham mused “they would have no choice. The Howell boy may even end up in prison”

***

“Francis! Come back here this instant!” Phil called as his son rushed into the park. Dan had taken Violet out for the day and they would meet for dinner. Him and Dan had a ball to attend later in the evening, so his mother would care for the children while they had the night off.

“Philip, I didn’t expect you here” a distinctly female voice came from behind as he caught up with Francis. 

“Miss Durham” Phil greeted as he turned around “Francis, this is my old friend Emily”. 

“You have children?” her eyes widened 

“Y-yes” Phil stuttered “two, actually. I have a daughter called Violet as well”

“With your wife?” Emily pressed, obviously looking for information. Francis frowned and Phil tried to shush him in a discreet way.

“I'm not married, my son and daughter are from an orphanage” Phil clarified

“That's unusual. I would of thought you would of been married by now” 

“I'm in no rush”

“Father? Can we go play now?” Francis said as he tugged on Phils trousers.

“Of course. Goodbye, Miss Durham”

“Goodbye, Mr Lester”

Phil knew that this wouldn't be the last time he saw Emily and he hoped it would be under better circumstances the next time. He forgot about his ring on his finger, symbolising his commitment to Dan, that Emily saw as she walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on twitter: @thatbarintokyo


	3. A ball and what happened before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter took so long. Uni has been kicking my ass pretty bad. hopefully should be back to some sort of regular uploading. Enjoy!

“Remember to take your ring off” Dan commented as they got out of the carriage “and you may be a ‘bachelor’ to them but you’re not to me”

“Yes Dan. Of course I remembered” Phil said. The ball was a huge event, an ‘opener’ to the Season that they had to attend in order to save face. Phil had to represent the Lester’s until his brother and wife arrived in London. Dan was meant to be an old friend from Cambridge that they had agreed his second name to be ‘Grantham’. It made him sound incredibly pretentious but it made him sound upper class enough. Phil hadn’t seen these people in years and hoped he remember what they did, all they had to do was socialise for an hour or two then make their excuses. It was simple.

Simple was clearly the wrong word. The house belonged to some Earl Dan didn’t know which made it all the more confusing. These people were the ‘cream of the crop’ the men and women that Dan used to serve when they came for social visits and for the hunting season. Old Lords came to offer their daughters hands in marriage to Martyn and Phil, probably never telling their children that they were being sold off like cattle. No matter how much finery Dan wore now, he was still the working class boy who grew up as a servant.

“Daniel Grantham, isn’t it?” a young woman approached him as Phil left his side to get drinks for both of them.

“Yes, that’s me” he smiled and tried to seem approachable.

“Is this your first season?” she asked

“Yes, I was in Italy for years before, so I’ve never been before now”

“You must of seen Philip Lester then? He just returned” the girl whispered “came with two children and no wife”

“No wife?” Dan stifled a giggle as he said this albeit stopped when the girl continued.

“The poor children growing up without a mother, they say that the Lester fortune is ripe pickings now” the girl grinned “I’m Eva King, by the way”

“So that’s your intention for this Season, wheedle an engagement out of Philip Lester?” he sneered at her, mood turning quickly sour.

“I would go more for charm Mr Grantham, excuse me I have more people to greet”. Dan sighed as she walked away. He realised now why Phil had so vehemently refused to court any woman even before they had gotten together.

“Enjoying yourself?” Phil had returned with the drinks albeit only single shots of whisky for the both of them.

“Another woman intending to take the Lester fortune and you, nothing new” Dan said as he took his drink for Phil’s hand.

“The Durham’s are in attendance” Phil whispered and pointed to the other side of the hall. Dan could see Mrs Durham sat down on a chair, observing the dancers in the middle of the room.

“Oh shit, when does our carriage arrive? Emily would of already told her mother about our encounter” Dan rushed out “we need to make our excuses and _leave_ ”. Phil subtly grabbed Dan’s hand and they began to make their way to the entrance, leaving their drinks at a random table. Phil was hurried in his movements; all but dragging Dan with him.

“Mr Lester”

Phil stopped. It was George Warleggan, some banker from Cornwall that Phil had never cared for.

“Mr Warleggan. My friend and I were just leaving, so if you’ll excuse us”

“Why are you leaving so soon?”

“We have business to attend to, Mr Warleggan, now  if you’ll excuse us”

“You are acquainted with Miss Durham, are you not?” _Warleggan sure is a bastard,_ Phil thought _no wonder half of Cornwall hates him_

“I am, yes” Phil said as Dan shifted uncomfortably by his side. He wanted to go home.

“She is still unmarried. Many of us were expecting a happy announcement when she was first a Debutante, that the Durham’s and Lester’s would finally marry their two families together”

“You have been listening to the gossip Mr Warleggan” Dan interjected before Phil could even formulate an answer “we have business to attend to Mr Lester” with that Dan was tugging him out of the house and into the nearest carriage.  

***

“Did you get anything from them? Anything at all?” Emily burst out before Mr Warleggan could lead her to quiet room away from the ball.

“They seemed to been in a rush to get away, most unbecoming of such a high class family” he sneered

“And his ‘valet’? He was here?”

“His ‘valet’?” Warleggan questioned “You mean Mr Grantham?”

Emily face twisted in disgust at the mention of Dan's name.

“That low life’s name is Daniel Howell not Grantham. Keep this information to yourself or I swear on your future heirs life your reputation will not see the end of this season”

“You have a nerve” Warleggan said “no wonder you have no husband”

“Just get me information, Warleggan” Emily whispered

With that she walked out of the room.

****

“Who the hell was that? Why does he care so much about your refusal of the Durham’s proposal?” Dan asked as they made their way to through London’s streets.

“The Durhams and Warleggans have always been closely connected, like us and the Poldarks. I’m shocked that Mrs Durham hasn’t secured a betrothal between Emily and George”

“You are of a higher standing, Mrs Durham would hate to marry her daughter to someone of the same standing” Dan noted.

“My mother said she was an avid social climber” Phil said “she hated that her husband couldn’t seem to make his way into the highest vestiges of society”

“You realise that they’ll do anything to ensure that you and Emily marry, even if I stand in the way”

“I wouldn’t allow that to happen nor would my family. The Durhams would face humiliation if they bring this case to court”

“But how long Phil? How long before they take away Francis and Violet because we are deemed unfit and ill?”

“We are not unfit and ill” Phil  whispered “Me loving you is not an illness and never will be”

“In your eyes yes, in the eyes of the law we are unfit for society” Dan was close to tears. He knew his life was going too well, that soon he would be tried for being who he was and that he would never see his children again. Phil would marry some heiress and forget the ‘disgusting acts’ he did with another man. He had seen it happen, had heard stories of lovers abandoned because the other had found themselves on the desired path.

“I will not abandon you” Phil said softly grabbing hold of Dan’s hand in the relative darkness of the carriage “you are my husband. The Durhams will not tear us apart, no matter how much they want to”

 

_THEN_

_Dan was always an awkward teenger. He got more awkward when he noticed the way that Phil was beginning to fill out, his growing body becoming something beyond attractive to Dan. Like many young heirs he had to learn how to shoot and ride. He grew stronger and his height shot up, causing Dan to look up whenever they spoke to each other.  When he came downstairs to seek Dan out he seemed so eager and earnest. They learnt and grew together as the seasons passed and Dan’s infatuation grew._

_If Dan was a girl, his parents would of gently teased him about his infatuation with the young Lord, not looked on with concern as he blushed every time the young Lord greeted him. He and Phil rode around the grounds when Dan wasn’t attending to his duties. They were carefree and ignored the mutterings among the staff and visitors._

_“He should not be spending that much time with a servant, he should be learning his duties”_

_“They are too close. The young Lord should start seeking a wife”_

_“It will be a scandal”_

_“It will destroy the Lester name”_

_Dan ignored them all. He was young and he was in love. But never realised that perhaps the young Lord loved him too._

_The Durhams visited often. Mrs Durham seemingly attached to herself Lady Lester’s side in order to gain favour and push the marriage of Philip and Emily, claiming it would be an advantage to both of them if they betrothed the two. Mr Durham didn’t care for his wife’s scheming and noticed the way that the young Lord and the servant interacted. He knew his wife would succeed when Philip was chasing after a servant. He never said a word as he knew what would happen if his wife got ahold of the information. The servant would be punished and the young Lord would be distraught. They both would punished for something they had no control over. Mr Durham had seen men and women punished for something society deemed unnatural. So he told Mrs Durham to seek out another husband for Emily. If he could do one thing for the young Lord, it was to give him a chance before society caught up. Before his wife’s scheme would destroy them both._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on twitter: @thatbarin_tokyo


	4. Regattas and what came before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see! I'm so sorry for taking so long with a new chapter. I had a massive influx of life things ie I'm now in uni. Enjoy this chapter and hopefully actual updates from now on hopefully

Within days there were invitations to more parties as the Season got into full swing. Dan had to act more as a servant than a husband. More ladies knocking on the door asking where ‘Mr Lester and his darling children’ were. He seethed in silence as Phil showed them the courtesy of a young Lord but was able to spend more time with Violet and Francis. The children themselves were enjoying all the Season had to offer the young children.

 “Someone suggested we should go to The Regatta. It’s the last few days and should be a good day out for the children” Phil suggested one night as they sat down in front of the fire after putting the children to bed.

 “Are we certain the Durhams will not be there. I cannot bear being under that women’s hawkish eye for now”. Phil grinned as he reached over and grabbed Dan’s hand

“We have an invitation to Phyllis Court. I made sure that the Durhams are not there. They haven’t been invited to any of the Clubs this year at all for the Regatta”

“Am I to be Grantham again?” Dan questioned

“I’m afraid so. You are my honoured guest throughout the Season”. Phil gripped his hand impossibly tighter “no matter what you think Dan I will not leave you for whatever women knocks on this door or flirts at parties”

“Even if I am taken from you?”

Phil frowned and looked into Dan’s eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“Labouchere has been calling on Parliament to add another draft to their Amendment act. To make all forms of homosexuality a crime. Up to seven years in prison with hard labour if he gets his way” Dan explained “we would be put under public trial if this goes through”

“He can’t add to the draft last minute! It’s insane to even think his clause will be added”

“He will find a way. I’m certain of it”

***

**Henley Royal Regatta**

The day had been a success on many accounts. The children had enjoyed the day in the gardens and playing games with the other children. Dan had managed to convince many of the club members of his upper-class status. He had charmed his way trough the day with relative ease. Phil had created a good impression for the Lester name. while the children were being cared for by one of the nannies they snuck off to one of the more secluded alcoves.

 “This was exactly what we needed”

“Despite knowing nothing about rowing?” Phil grinned as he moved closer to Dan. He caught Dan’s lips in a chaste kiss after checking they were completely alone. They continued like this for a few minutes, only drawing back for air.

“Soon we’ll be back at estate”

“Home” Dan grinned

“Home”

_THEN_

_Dan burrowed further into Phil’s duvet as the early morning light streamed through the windows. He would have to get up soon and sneak beck to his own quarters before someone barged in. He would allow himself a few more minutes, however. The fates were not smiling on him that day._

  _“Brother, you better be up! We have visitors and they do not want to be kept waiting” Martyn Lester announced as he barged his way into the room without thinking. Martyn opened the curtains in haste of the apparent visitors and to wake up his brother faster, without even noticing the other occupant in the bed._

_“Come on Philip now is not the time-” Martyn chided again and stopped short when he noticed one of the servants occupying the other side of the bed “Howell what are you doing here?”_

_Phil finally startled awake. His eyes widened as he noticed his brother and lover having a stare down._

_“Martyn. Get out”_

_“You have a servant in your bed!”_

_“I said get out” Phil hissed “at least let me say goodbye before you go and tell our parent’s I’ve been sodomising one of our servants”_

_Dan felt impossibly small in that moment. He knew at one point that this romance would end, but he had hoped it would be on his own terms._

_“They deserve to know” Martyn replied calmly_

_“And what will happen? Dan chucked out on the streets because we admitted our love for each other? Please Martyn let me say goodbye”. Phil looked almost tearful as he grabbed onto Dan._

_“I’ll give you 10 minutes”_

_He left in a hurry. As soon as the door closed Phil let a few tears slip from his eyes as he grabbed Dan._

_“I’m so sorry. I should have kept quiet about my feelings and let you live your life. I can’t lose you” Phil whispered into Dan’s shoulder_

_“You won’t lose me. Not just yet”_

_“Mother will force me to marry now. If this was found out, my family name would be destroyed”_

_Dan buried his face in in Phil’s neck, enjoying the last few moments. Silence reigned until there was another knock on the door._

_“Your mother and father request your presence, sir”. It was Mr Sanders._

_“I should go” Phil said “It’ll make it easier”_

_“Nothing will make it easier” Dan replied quietly “I love you”_

_“I love you too, my darling”._

_They shared one last chaste kiss before Phil left._

***

The Regatta was winding down for the day at they left for their townhouse. Dan and Phil returned home in high spirits. There was nothing that could dampen their mood in the slightest. Until they realised who was waiting by their door. Resplendent in an evening gown Emily Durham was clearly waiting for Phil. Dan looked on, in an effort to hide himself from view, as the carriage pulled up and the children scrambled out. Louise greeted them at the door as they rushed past Emily in their haste.

“What should we do?” Dan asked

“I just have to refuse her. It’s simple as that”

“You’ll cause suspicion! You can’t refuse every woman, or we will add fuel to the fire. Take her out, dance with her but nothing more” Dan whispered angrily 

“Dan-“

“Do it. Do it for our family. Please” Dan said at which he excited the coach and, like his children, strode past Emily with a supposed air of confidence.

“Miss Durham” he heard Phil say as he entered the house “to what do I owe the pleasure?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on my twitter @thatbarin_tokyo  
> and my tumblr lovethenx-01  
> likes and comments fuel me!


	5. When Love Flies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we have reached the end of the line. sorry for the super late update, uni work has been kicking my ass! enjoy the final update!!!

 Emily could only grin as she and Phil danced. The man looked like he was a world away and trying to keep up the façade of enjoying himself. She knew that he was thinking of his children and his poor poor Dan, but this was her night. She would find a way to make Dan pay for taking away what was rightfully hers. Soon she would have reason to have Dan ‘taken care of’. Mrs Durham was perfectly fine with having him going missing. Some people would be very pleased with the young Lord finally marrying, having a mother for his children. She would send the little brutes to boarding school the first chance she got. Emily looked around the room and saw her mothers pleased smile from the corner of her eye. This was working perfectly.

“So how have your children been Mr Lester?” she asked in her sweetest voice.

“They are fine Miss Durham” Phil answered stiffly “I should be going back to them soon”

“Don’t you have a nanny?” she questioned, intent of digging further “since the poor dears are without a mother”

“We get along fine without one”

“Or perhaps your whore looks after them. Pretends to be the mother they should have” she whispered to ensure that the other dancer couldn’t hear them

“Excuse me?” Phil looked like he was about to be sick “who are you going on about?”

“Dan Howell of course. Your little servant boy that you so dearly love”

“Keep away from him”

“Or what? You can’t do anything in a court of law, but I can have him locked up for so many years. What will you do then Mr Lester? Won’t your children wonder where he went?”

“Stop. Just stop” Phil’s eyes flashed dangerously. The music was winding down as he hastily stepped away and excited the hall without looking back.

***

They were in danger. Phil had come home looking beyond terrified and quickly grabbed Dan into a tight embrace. He told him about what Emily and the danger of them being separated.

“What should we do now?” Dan said “we should leave before the Durhams think up anything else”

“Don’t you see Dan? They want to be rid of you. Whether you rot in prison or they dispose of you themselves” Phil replied hastily “the Durhams wouldn’t be apposed to ensuring that you are never in the picture ever again”

 “Tomorrow we leave. Back to the estate. Damn the season and the Durhams” Dan whispered “they can’t take you away from me that easy”

***

_‘I am an unspeakable of the Oscar Wilde sort_ ’

***

“Is there any way of getting rid of the Howell boy? Swiftly?” Mrs Durham cried angrily as her daughter paced the length of the living room

“Unless you have someone willing to kill a servant, then no” Emily snapped back. Patience was running thin in the household.

“Some people will do anything for a little coin” Mrs Durham “It could be made to look like a terrible accident”

“There’s a chance of Mr Lester getting hurt. They are attached to each other seemingly all the time”

“Then we must ensure they are not”

***

The children were confused as to why they were leaving so early. They merely told them that there was urgent business back at the estate and that it was time to go home. The train they were supposed to catch was leaving late in the afternoon, at which they would reach the estate by late evening. It was safest place for them. The time passed quickly as they packed and set everything on the carriage. It was best to leave now rather than have the Durhams cause more grief for their family.

The carriage ride to the station was silent as they rushed to catch their train. It seemed so simple, this escape back to where it all started. The estate was only a few hours from London and they would arrive in a few hours.

It seemed all too easy.

_THEN_

_“Sleeping with a servant Philip!” Mrs Lester exclaimed as her son stood in front of her. He was resolutely staring at the floor, not once looking into her eyes._

_“We never meant for you to find out” he mumbled_

_“But a man? The Howell boy? Why?” she questioned “you could be killed”_

_“We are in love Mother” he said “that’s the whole truth. Send him away if you have to and make me marry some woman whom I will despise”._

_This stopped her short. Love? Him and the Howell boy were in love? She sighed and approached her son. He eventually looked up as she approached him and stared into her eyes. His eyes were glassy, and he was holding back tears._

_“You love him?”_

_“If you send him away, do it now. We’ve already said our goodbyes”. There was a moment of silence as she considered their options. They could send the Howell boy away and save their reputations. It would destroy her son in the long run. The Durham girl still desired to marry her son but would always be overshadowed by a mysterious lover that she would never know._

_“If you truly love this boy, we will protect him. He must learn of our ways. Do you understand me Philip?”. He smiled weakly as she said her piece._

_“You mean it?”_

_“Yes. Now go find him before I change my mind”_

***

Mrs Durham surveyed the station with a sour expression. Where were they? She had been waiting close to an hour for the two to make to catch the train to apparent safety. Beside her Emily was fidgeting in the most unladylike manner. While they where insuring this would go off without a hitch, they also wanted to see the pain in the Howell’s boy’s eyes as the life slowly drained from him. Suddenly there was a bustle of people coming up the stairs to the station. She fixed her eyes on the people rushing to their trains, determined to see the boy that had lost her family fame and fortune.

“Dan, wait!” she heard as the young Lord himself walked up the stairs, accompanied by their two young children and a nanny “we won’t be late”

“We will be late if you keep slowing us down” the Howell boy replied, a grin on his face as they walked up the platform. She slowly turned to the man beside her and nodded. It would seem like a simple accident that would be reported in The Strand in a small section. No one would morn him.

No one.

***

 It was horrible to die. As Dan clutched his stomach and watched as the blood seeped through his fingers, he realised the weight of what was about to happen. He was going to die.

“Phil” he rasped out as he stumbled forward and clutched hold of the man’s hand.

“Dan?” he explained “Dan! Sweetheart?”

He could only fall into the man’s arms as he tried to hold on. Phil gently gathered him onto his lap, ignoring the other passengers that had gathered around the scene unfolding.

“Dan? Dan stay with me, it’s going to be fine” Phil took off his jacket and tried to press it to the wound to no avail. Violet and Francis rushed over when they saw their father on the floor and tried to do something, anything. Louise pulled them back as Dan struggled to breath.

“Phil. Please” Dan gasped out as the man began to cry “I don’t want to die. Not now”

“It’s going to be fine, love. Hold on” Phil said through his tears “you’re going to be fine”

“I love you” Dan said. Darkness seemed to gather in his vision as he heard Phil calling out to him.

Then there was nothing.

***

The funeral was small. The mourners gathered at the estate as the Dan was placed in the family lot in the church. Phil looked haggard but tried to look strong in front of his children. His mother and father accepted that he would go into full mourning for his husband, no matter what society thought. Society be damned. His husband had died with his children looking on, with no power to stop it. He expected Dan to walked through the door at any moment. But that would never happen. Not now.

 At expected the Durhams tried to reinstate the possible marriage contract. It failed as they were banned from the Lester indefinitely for the grief they had caused the family. One day, when Phil was visiting Dan’s grave he noticed another figure standing at the grave. It was Emily.

“Come to visit him again?” she said as he approached

“I always will” he managed as he laid the flowers he had in his hand onto the grave.

“Daniel Lester. Last time I checked he was a Howell” she stated with malice “of course I suppose people’s whores always do claim the man’s name in the end”

“Is that why you came. To spite me one more time? The man I love is dead” he spat out angrily as he faced her.

“Love? You think you loved him? Love is between a man and a woman. Not whatever you believed”

“I loved him with every fibre of my being. No matter what some law says I loved him. And he was murdered in front of me”

“It was shame it was handled so poorly. I told mother that man was no good” Emily muttered

“Poorly?” he said, anger boiling over “his murder was handled poorly?”

“Mother was so certain it would ensure our marriage. But you Lester’s have always been stubborn”

“Marriage? I was never going marry you. I could never love you”. He turned to leave as she grabbed onto his arm and looked to him pleadingly.

“We would have been perfect-“

“We would have been miserable” he cried out “I loved Dan and no marriage to you would have changed that”

“Always in his shadow. Even when he is dead” she said “I hope he was worth it”

“He was worth it” Phil answered as he looked over to Dan’s grave “he was everything I could have hoped for and more. Good day, Miss Durham”

In other time perhaps, they could love each other freely. Without malice, without hatred. He could pledge to love Dan and marry him. He looked down at the ring on his finger and smiled weakly as he imagined standing with Dan at that altar and slipping the ring on his finger.

One day, perhaps. One day

_And now we shan't be parted no more, and that's finished_

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu: @thatbarin_tokyo

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on twitter: @thatbarin_tokyo


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